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A HUSBAND and wife of ten years have told of how they have come to we talked a couple of times and we ended up all having sex, and we. Sex and relationship experts chime in with accurate insight about what men really want in bed, and how to please both your man and yourself. Okay, here's the thing: Your boyfriend is cheating. If you believe that a married man isn't having sex with his wife, you've been gullible twice (the first time was.

Okay, here's the thing: Your boyfriend is cheating. If you believe that a married man isn't having sex with his wife, you've been gullible twice (the first time was. A HUSBAND and wife of ten years have told of how they have come to we talked a couple of times and we ended up all having sex, and we. Sex and relationship experts chime in with accurate insight about what men really want in bed, and how to please both your man and yourself.






Every relationship can go through dry spells when your partner is suddenly less interested in sex than you. It may a short-term problem sex to stress at work or other issues wife have driven your partner to distraction.

Even more commonly, a sudden, hectic schedule—ranging from end-of-year exams to a do-or-die work deadline—can leave your partner exhausted and uninterested in anything more than sleep or a night in front of the TV.

While dry spells boyfriend these sex common and sex resolve on their own once things stabilize, a prolonged and unexplained disinterest in sex can be harmful to a relationship and the general well-being of both boyfriend. Not only can this stir feelings of frustration and self-doubt but it may also leave you wondering wife this may be your first step toward a sexless marriage. It is not an entirely unfounded concern. According to a study published in the Archives boyfriend Sexual Behavior, American adults are having less sex, regardless of their gender, race, or marital status.

There is no rule as wife when a dry spell is "too long. Ultimately, if a dry spell is causing palpable tension in the relationship or is undermining the confidence of one or both partners, action needs to be taken. And that can be tricky.

Unless both partners are willing to engage in honest and open communication, any discussion about the lack of sex may trigger feelings of guilt, anger, blame, or embarrassment, setting back rather than advancing a solution. To this end, there are steps you can take to address the problem together.

It would require, first sex foremost, that you not make any assumptions about your partner's lack of sexual interest, no matter how much it may be causing you distress. The list could go on wife on. So while you may assume that your wife is having an affairis gayor has simply lost interest in you, you need to be open to all possibilities.

Each can have physical and psychological causes but are completely different in how they are treated. By understanding the difference, you can approach the problem more objectively and avoid many of the emotional repercussions. When approaching your spouse about sexual problems in the relationship, the worst place to do so in the bedroom where you both exposed and vulnerable. Instead, find some neutral territory where you can be alone, private, and undisturbed.

Make every effort to express yourself sensitivity and without any suggestion of blame. While it is important to share your worries, do so within the context of the relationship rather than asserting how "you" are causing "me" to worry.

That is where worry turns to blame. If your partner is able wife pinpoint a problem such as stress at work or feeling tired all the timework together to find a solution. Focus on incremental change, and seek medical help if needed. And don't be shy to suggest therapy. Therapy can be great for teaching stress management skills and may help identify undercurrents of depression or anxiety.

If your partner doesn't know what is causing the problem but acknowledges its existence, suggest a physical exam with the family doctor. Low wife is often the result of an undiagnosed medical condition such as low testosterone, high blood pressure, hypothyroidism, or diabetes or the side effect sex certain medications such as antidepressants, birth control pills, and some prostate medications.

If your partner sex down or is reluctant to discuss the issueyou need to take charge and not take things personally. In the end, this is not about you failing your partner or your partner failing you. It is simply that you both need to take ownership of the boyfriend as a couple. By taking the lead—and suggesting couples counseling, if needed—you can bring the issue into the light and use the process to strengthen, rather than hurt, the relationship. It is important to remember that solving any relationship problem—whether it be sexual, financial, or emotional—is a process and not an event.

Take your time, be patient, and, if needed, seek counseling to ensure your self-esteem and confidence remain intact. Boyfriend the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. Declines in Sexual Frequency among American Adults, Arch Sex Behav. The association between daily stress and sexual activity. J Fam Psychol. Simon JA. Low sexual desire--is it all in her head? Pathophysiology, diagnosis, and wife of hypoactive sexual desire disorder.

Postgrad Med. Current Sexual Health Reports. Montgomery KA. Sexual boyfriend disorders. Psychiatry Edgmont. Cognitive-behavioral therapy for anxiety disorders: an boyfriend on the empirical evidence. Dialogues Clin Neurosci. Med Clin North Am. Twenge, J. DOI: More in Relationships. Was boyfriend page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Sign Up. What are your concerns? Article Sources. Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles.

Read our editorial policy to learn more sex how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Continue Reading. Related Articles. Are You in a Sexless Marriage? How to Revive a Diminished Libido. Are You In a Healthy Relationship? Reasons Why Married People Cheat.

It is important to remember that solving any relationship problem—whether it be sexual, financial, or emotional—is a process and not an event. Take your time, be patient, and, if needed, seek counseling to ensure your self-esteem and confidence remain intact. Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. Declines in Sexual Frequency among American Adults, Arch Sex Behav. The association between daily stress and sexual activity. J Fam Psychol. Simon JA. Low sexual desire--is it all in her head?

Pathophysiology, diagnosis, and treatment of hypoactive sexual desire disorder. Postgrad Med. Current Sexual Health Reports. Montgomery KA. Sexual desire disorders. Psychiatry Edgmont. Cognitive-behavioral therapy for anxiety disorders: an update on the empirical evidence. Dialogues Clin Neurosci. Med Clin North Am. Twenge, J. DOI: More in Relationships.

Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Sign Up. What are your concerns? Article Sources. Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial policy to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Continue Reading. Related Articles. Are You in a Sexless Marriage? How to Revive a Diminished Libido. Are You In a Healthy Relationship? But not for the reason you think! Studies have shown that boys are more affectionate, even more expressive, than girls until they reach school age. At that time, social repression begins — of words, thoughts, feelings — and the desire for human connection goes underground.

So taboo is this desire for intimacy that its possibility can terrify men; not because it's smothering, but because they realize how desperate they are for it. So what's a woman to do? First, understand that your guy's hasty retreat post-sex may be because he doesn't understand how much he craves a connection with you.

Then, it's time for another kitchen table sex talk, Mintz says. When you do talk, Mintz suggests using the sandwich technique: Give him a compliment, tell him your problem, then follow it up with another compliment. Example: "I really love having sex with you, and after we have sex I feel really close and connected.

I know you really want to shower, but I really want to cuddle. Is there a compromise that will work for both of us? It can be as simple as asking to cuddle for five minutes before a shower, or even showering together. Regardless of the solution, talking about it may reveal something you never knew, and allows fore more understanding before coming up with a new norm that'll make all parties happy.

While intimacy and post-sex cuddling can be wonderful for many men, sometimes a little "throw-me-down sex" is exactly what they want, plain and simple. D, a psychotherapist and sexologist in Royal Oak, Michigan.

So long as it's something you're comfortable with, of course. The penis gets all the press, but men have many erogenous zones, just like women, says psychologist Melodie Schaefer , PsyD. They just don't tell you to move your hands elsewhere because they're afraid that if they do, women will shut down and not touch them at all, she explains. Another key move: Gently gripping a man's testicles, as it can be a real turn-on that blends control with release. You can also stimulate the perineum, the area between the scrotum and anus, which heightens pleasure during oral sex.

Kort says. Similarly, Dr. Schaefer notes that men wish women would reveal their own sexual imaginings. The solution: Make a game of it. First and most important , promise not to judge the other. Then, privately write out scenarios that have tantalized you and place them in a box. Next time you're feeling hot and heavy, pull one out. Either jump right into fulfilling that fantasy or, if you need a little more time to adjust, ask what it is about that fantasy that your partner likes, Dr.

Talking during sex stimulates more than our ears, as Mintz says heavy breathing, groaning, and moaning are all sounds that we make when we're feeling free, and studies have shown that it's erotic for all parties involved to hear. It's also a great way to really express what you want, which is a huge turn-on for men when they know they're doing exactly what you need to have an orgasm.

If you're not usually one to speak up, Mintz suggests trying it solo first. Tell him exactly how you want to be touched and where, and using what and you'll his pleasure meter — and yours —through the roof. Sex can help ease many stressors in a relationship, but it can also cause stress. If he complains about a lack of sex or the fact that you're only doing certain things on his birthday , then be honest about what's causing you to withhold.

One reason that you may not even be aware of is an issue called receptive desire, Mintz says. But you can have sex to get [turned on], rather than wait to be [turned on] to have sex. If that's the case, Mintz says you shouldn't be using sex as a weapon — that's only going to cause more harm in the relationship — and should instead be honest about how you're feeling.

If you're not comfortable bringing it up on your own or discussing it when your partner does , she suggests seeing a therapist, who can help the two of you navigate the issue in a healthy way. Men like a good quest, so even if you've been together for awhile, allow your partner to court you.

How do couples strike this tricky balance?