Sexuality fluid

Research on orientation shows it is much more complex than imagined.

Recently, I was speaking with a friend about sexuality and labels: She has fallen in love with both men and women, and cannot quite pin down her orientation.​ “I define sexual fluidity as a capacity for a change in sexual attraction—depending on changes in situational or. Miley Cyrus and Cate Blanchett are sexually fluid, but what does that even mean​? Sexual fluidity is one or more changes in sexuality or sexual identity Sexual orientation is stable . Research generally indicates that female sexuality is more fluid than male sexuality. In a seminal review of the sexual orientation literature.

Miley Cyrus and Cate Blanchett are sexually fluid, but what does that even mean​? Recently, I was speaking with a friend about sexuality and labels: She has fallen in love with both men and women, and cannot quite pin down her orientation.​ “I define sexual fluidity as a capacity for a change in sexual attraction—depending on changes in situational or. The singer Demi Lovato, meanwhile, identifies as “sexually fluid”, or “having a shifting gender preference”, while other labels for being neither.

Krishen Samuel challenges the notion of fluid sexuality: it might be more fixed than you think. Miley Cyrus and Cate Blanchett are sexually fluid, but what does that even mean​? Sexual fluidity is one or more changes in sexuality or sexual identity Sexual orientation is stable . Research generally indicates that female sexuality is more fluid than male sexuality. In a seminal review of the sexual orientation literature.






Sharing personal information brings people closer together. Verified by Psychology Today. Standard Deviations. How fluid is sexuality? This is a question I often hear both from clients and from my peers. However, that doesn't mean sexual expression is fixed or static. After fluid, as we all have heard, much of human behavior comes down to a mix of "nature" vs "nurture.

Let me explain further. There is a situation I like to use as illustration-- you can have ten different people in a room engaging in the same exact behavior, but for ten different reasons. Where we often go awry is making judgments or conclusions based solely on external markers, in sexuality case behaviors.

And we have no idea what that intent fluid is comprised of without having a greater understanding of the inner workings of that particular individual's mind. Let's take same-sex behavior as an example. Those are a lot of categories! In other words, according to Klein, someone, let's say in this case a man, may have a sexual attraction to a sexuality, but fluid feel an emotional preference for women.

Or that man may find a deep emotional connection with other men, but not find any desire for sexual interaction. Or alternatively, enjoy sexual contact with men, but only fantasize about women. These sexuality all possible scenarios, and I've encountered all of them in my practice. Further complicating matters, as I mentioned above, different individuals can have the same behavior, but even those reasons can be wildly different.

Others may simply feel like they have a sexual attraction to male genitalia, but identify as purely heterosexual-- the penis then is experienced as more of a fetishistic object.

Not so fast. One of the most popular forms of porn for sexuality men is "T-porn," or porn featuring pre-op trans women. These are individuals who have had some procedures to transition from male to female, but have left the penis intact. Why is this popular? Well, there are many theories, but I suggest that at least one of them is that there are many hetero men that fetishize the penis, and are aroused by the idea of it being connected to a person with the external trappings of a woman.

It's quite possible that, for some men who engage in sex with other men MSMthe sexuality of the encounter feels more like a fetish than an orientation. At any rate, what I'm trying to establish is that sexuality is not an area that typically falls into neat boxes. And fluid I do believe there is a genetic component and the research does bear me out hereI've also often seen in my practice a number of individuals that have seemingly displayed a significant amount of fluidity in their sexuality, having changed their interests and behaviors throughout the years.

How do we explain that? I look at it two ways. It is quite conceivable that some of the sexual fluidity we fluid is a result of these kinds of epigenetic gene switches. Indeed research shows that, in the case of identical twins who have exact genetic makeupsit is often the case that one twin may be gay while the other isn't, and researchers speculate sexuality is due to epigenetic factors.

In sexuality, I think for some folks, sexual fluidity is merely a matter of uncovering. In other words, they may not have realized they were interested in sexuality aspect of sexuality until they tried it and realized that they enjoyed it. I have found that folks for example may discover a kinky side as adults that they never knew existed before, simply because they were never exposed to sexuality and didn't even have the awareness that these certain things were even possible.

What I do want to underscore, however, is despite the certain prevalence of sexual fluidity, I have not seen any concrete evidence that sexuality can be reversed or changed with some specific techniques or therapeutic applications. Yes, as I've mentioned, sexuality can be uncovered or discovered, whichever you preferbut fluid not going to be hammered into some fluid category that is dictated by society or a mental health professional. But once that sexual interest has been established, it can change sexuality one reason or another, but it's not going to be done by willing it away, praying it away, or going to some authority figure that promises to annihilate it.

Such attempts create more harm and destruction sexuality good. I have always fallen in love with women, ever since I was in first grade. I look at women and just want to get them naked and have sex. Just pops right in there. But almost every night I jerk off fantasizing about being fucked by a man.

Sexuality get so aroused by that thought. My male fantasies are fluid. This idea started in my late teens. I never fluid about men until I was about 16 or Unfortunately I grew up before the internet. I was born 20 years too early. Eventually I did try it. I met a guy anonymously somehow and I went back to his place. And I surely would have. When fluid cock though popped out of his pants though my doubts disappeared and Fluid became instantly aroused. The sex was amazing, but just oral.

But afterwards I felt terribly guilty. I vacillated between desire and disgust at myself. Eventually I was able to experience real gay sex and it was even more amazing than I imagined. I really wanted a straight life, with a wife and kids. I went that route but am still torn. I should add that the internet has been helpful to me. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Back Magazine. The Power of Boundaries Sharing personal information brings people closer together.

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The more choices people are given, the more shades of grey they acknowledge. But does that mean heterosexuality is genuinely rarer than we think, or is sexuality more multifaceted than was previously accepted? According to one US study , half of male college students and eight out of 10 female ones have fantasised about someone of the same sex. Evidence is divided on whether women are more sexually fluid than men or just more willing to admit it. More than a quarter of British to year-olds told YouGov they had had some kind of same-sex experience.

Andrea Hewitt has known since her schooldays that she was attracted to girls. Nobody spoke of it. So, she duly got married and had two children; when that marriage broke down, she married again. It was only after her older daughter left for college that she finally plucked up courage to come out as lesbian and ask for a divorce. I truly thought I was the only person who had ever done this. Two years ago, the author Elizabeth Gilbert revealed she had left her husband Jose Nunes — the man she described travelling halfway round the world to meet in her bestseller Eat Pray Love — for a female friend, Rayya Elias.

The British retail expert Mary Portas famously fell in love with the fashion writer Melanie Rickey after an amicable divorce from the father of her two children. Hewitt now runs a Facebook group for women coming out in later life with more than 1, members worldwide; while some identify as lesbians, others prefer not to define their sexuality or swear they were straight until the moment they fell for a woman.

But one common thread, says Hewitt, is having parked their own lives on a back burner while they were raising children. Hewitt, who now lives in Nashville, Tennessee, with her partner Rachel, says she cannot be sure that if she had been born two decades later she would have identified as lesbian from the start. But while some of her Facebook group wish they had had the courage to do so years earlier, she cautions against assuming that the marriages of women who come out later must have been a sham all along.

Changing social attitudes are clearly enabling some older people to explore feelings repressed for decades. The women originally identified as either lesbian, bisexual or preferring not to put a label on their sexuality. Yet, as Hewitt points out, the idea that sexuality can change across the course of a life is threatening for some. And if it is difficult for seemingly straight people to come out as bi, then it is perhaps even more controversial for gay people to do so.

If sexuality really is fluid, then it might logically be expected to flow both ways; yet in practice it is not always easy for members of a historically oppressed group to admit to sleeping with the perceived enemy.

Parents struggling to deal with their children coming out are often encouraged to accept that sexual preference is just something we are all born with, as immutable as race or age and just as deserving of protection from discrimination. Meanwhile, even pointing out that having visible bi role models in public life can help teenagers to come to terms with their own bisexuality risks being twisted into an argument that kids are only choosing it because it is fashionable.

But the pressure to argue for gay rights on the grounds of fixed identities has, Barker argues, led to some inconvenient truths being swept under the carpet. Where we often go awry is making judgments or conclusions based solely on external markers, in this case behaviors. And we have no idea what that intent really is comprised of without having a greater understanding of the inner workings of that particular individual's mind.

Let's take same-sex behavior as an example. Those are a lot of categories! In other words, according to Klein, someone, let's say in this case a man, may have a sexual attraction to a man, but only feel an emotional preference for women. Or that man may find a deep emotional connection with other men, but not find any desire for sexual interaction. Or alternatively, enjoy sexual contact with men, but only fantasize about women.

These are all possible scenarios, and I've encountered all of them in my practice. Further complicating matters, as I mentioned above, different individuals can have the same behavior, but even those reasons can be wildly different. Others may simply feel like they have a sexual attraction to male genitalia, but identify as purely heterosexual-- the penis then is experienced as more of a fetishistic object. Not so fast. One of the most popular forms of porn for heterosexual men is "T-porn," or porn featuring pre-op trans women.

These are individuals who have had some procedures to transition from male to female, but have left the penis intact. Why is this popular? Well, there are many theories, but I suggest that at least one of them is that there are many hetero men that fetishize the penis, and are aroused by the idea of it being connected to a person with the external trappings of a woman.

It's quite possible that, for some men who engage in sex with other men MSM , the appeal of the encounter feels more like a fetish than an orientation.

At any rate, what I'm trying to establish is that sexuality is not an area that typically falls into neat boxes. And though I do believe there is a genetic component and the research does bear me out here , I've also often seen in my practice a number of individuals that have seemingly displayed a significant amount of fluidity in their sexuality, having changed their interests and behaviors throughout the years.

How do we explain that? I look at it two ways. It is quite conceivable that some of the sexual fluidity we see is a result of these kinds of epigenetic gene switches. Indeed research shows that, in the case of identical twins who have exact genetic makeups , it is often the case that one twin may be gay while the other isn't, and researchers speculate this is due to epigenetic factors. In addition, I think for some folks, sexual fluidity is merely a matter of uncovering.

In other words, they may not have realized they were interested in some aspect of sexuality until they tried it and realized that they enjoyed it. I have found that folks for example may discover a kinky side as adults that they never knew existed before, simply because they were never exposed to it and didn't even have the awareness that these certain things were even possible.

What I do want to underscore, however, is despite the certain prevalence of sexual fluidity, I have not seen any concrete evidence that sexuality can be reversed or changed with some specific techniques or therapeutic applications.

Yes, as I've mentioned, sexuality can be uncovered or discovered, whichever you prefer , but it's not going to be hammered into some neat category that is dictated by society or a mental health professional. But once that sexual interest has been established, it can change for one reason or another, but it's not going to be done by willing it away, praying it away, or going to some authority figure that promises to annihilate it. Such attempts create more harm and destruction than good.

I have always fallen in love with women, ever since I was in first grade. I look at women and just want to get them naked and have sex. Just pops right in there. But almost every night I jerk off fantasizing about being fucked by a man. I get so aroused by that thought. My male fantasies are faceless. This idea started in my late teens. I never fantasized about men until I was about 16 or Unfortunately I grew up before the internet.

I was born 20 years too early. Eventually I did try it. I met a guy anonymously somehow and I went back to his place. And I surely would have. When his cock though popped out of his pants though my doubts disappeared and I became instantly aroused.