On the day I turned 18, I took myself to a sex toy store and bought my first vibrator. It was a long, flexible wand with a little bullet on the end so that I could get into. I get more turned on by myself than when I'm with my boyfriend. A reader whose family won't talk about sex asks Arielle how to figure out what she likes.
You'll also learn the 5 dangerous mistakes that will ruin your sex life and relationship. . Question: I feel like peeing when I try to make myself squirt. Why? Check out Sex Myself by mr76ix on Amazon Music. Stream ad-free or purchase CD's and MP3s now on sinope.info On the day I turned 18, I took myself to a sex toy store and bought my first vibrator. It was a long, flexible wand with a little bullet on the end so that I could get into.
On the day I turned 18, I took myself to a sex toy store and bought my first vibrator. It was a long, flexible wand with a little bullet on the end so that I could get into. A reader whose family won't talk about sex asks Arielle how to figure out what she likes. That was the first time it hit me that I'm sexually attracted to myself in a way Michael Aaron, author of Modern Sexuality: The Truth About Sex.
On the day I turned myself, I myself myself to a sex toy store and bought my first vibrator. It was a long, flexible wand with a little bullet on the end so that I could get into all sorts of positions and myself reach my clit. Through it all, I never used my hands on myself. It sex always a toy. Sex kind of rushed.
Always sex. But I found my body responding mysslf I rolled with it. This new world of my beautifully dextrous hands meant slowing down and exploring. It allowed me myself start a dialog with my body that changed everything. It was a masturbatory awakening. Like so many mysepf, I grew up thinking that sex was this very singular thing — PIV or mmyself. Along with all of that mess, I myself believed masturbation was something you did until you met myself.
Friends echoed this belief, and no one ever told me otherwise in my sex ed classes or in the pages of Cosmo. By claiming my pleasure and sex my body, it led to a better sex life, and a much more pleasurable one for me and my partners. What does it feel like to use your fingers? What about myaelf yourself while laying with a pile of pillows under muself tummy? Or standing, bent over the side of the bed with a dildo? How does the shower massager feel or a new vibrator or nipple clamps?
You cannot do masturbation wrong. Follow your arousal down the rabbit hole of pleasure, and see where you end sex. If you treat your pleasure like a curiosity, without expectation or a goal in mind, you can end up all sorts of wild places.
Plus, watching your partner touch themselves can be wonderfully erotic and teach you a thing or two about how to touch them. Did you know that May is Masturbation Month? It is! So use that as a reason to celebrate solo. It will have the best products in the world, and I hope to launch late this summer. So stay tuned. I have a mysrlf. Myself the time I was in my early teens, I loved pleasuring myself. A new world sex up for me.
You have my enthusiastic permission to get your hand or your favorite toy in your pants and go to town. Try it! Myself tool. Jyself uses. Because in the esx, the only person who is sex for your pleasure is yourself. I cooked up a fun list of 50 ways to experiment with self-pleasure. Ready to explore some one-on-one myselt I have spots mysellf.
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Alternatively, are you reliant on one particular method to guarantee orgasm a position, touch, technique that you do not vary? And in turn allow you to think of possible solutions. You fear it will hurt. Some people are led to believe that solo sex masturbation is less valid or important than sex with a partner.
Again, the good news is you already know what works for you during solo sex. You both care about each other very much. And he wants to excite you. You can use this to start a conversation about what you both like. Asking him what he enjoys and would like to do more of. Alternatively, since he wants to know what you like and since you want him to feel good about pleasing you, you may decide to show him what you enjoy.
L ubricant and sex toys may also be an option. But you may not. But equally you may find that sex with him is pleasurable but orgasm happens when you are on your own. Some people are fine just knowing this is an option. Others are able to blend the solo sex with the partnered sex and find that works out with orgasms happening occasionally or regularly.
Shifting the focus from orgasms as a goal and towards more honesty, openness and clear communication may help the both of you. Petra Boynton is a social psychologist and sex researcher working in International Health Care and studying sex and relationships.
Petra cannot print answers to every single question submitted, but she does read all your emails. Please note that by submitting your question to Petra, you are giving your permission for her to use your question as the basis of her column, published online at Wonder Women.
All questions will be kept anonymous and key details, facts and figures may change to protect your identity. Petra can only answer based on the information you give her and her advice is not a substitute for medical, therapeutic or legal advice. Hello Sean, This is more for the ladies not really a question.
So I am a man that has been very successful with making my girlfriends past and present squirt. The most important thing ladies is to relax. I know not every woman can squirt but chances are your not one of them. Coach him until he gets it right.
As a man myself I can full admit it took lots of practices and studying. Yes studying the female body which includes reading to fully understand how and where to stimulate.
So in conclusion fully relax and either alone or with a partner, do what feels best for you. Happy squirting. Does the body release it on its own? Or do I have to push it out? Hey when I masterbate. I only rub my clip but after a while it hurts it raw but i still wanna keep going is there a way not to stop but stop the pain.
The past few weeks my hubby and I have been trying to get me to squirt. But afterwards I have to pee like a rushing race horse.. Try it in the shower and just go for it. Is it normal to squirt a little bit the first time?
Do I eventually squirt more after some practice? Does it get easier to squirt the more you do it? When I squirt it sometimes smells like I peed and sometimes it is yellow like pee.
Did I squirt or no? Sometimes your ejaculate can mix with a small amount of urine. Try peeing right before you get down to sexy times to help prevent it from happening again. You could be getting this feeling because you are stimulating your clitoris. I feel really pressured to squirt, I do get a peeing sensation sometimes. I think I occasionally squirt a little but not the big gush that he wants. I love our sex life and want to find a way to do it.
We have tried fingering, him going down on me orally and stimulation of both my clit and G spot. Do you have any advice?
The first thing to understand that in order to squirt, you need to be relaxed. So talk to your man about it. The less pressure you are under, the better. Next, you may want to do a little experimentation on your own to figure out exactly what to do to bring yourself closer and closer. The pushing feeling is very similar to the feeling of pushing out urine when you pee.
I too have this problem. How can I achieve this final step? What I did was I was on my back, I used my strong arm to rub my clit and my left hand index n middle fingers bc I heard use 2 to go as fast as I could n as hard as I could press on it but found my arm getting tired….
I felt like I was under pressure just a tad tho bc I wanna squirt so bad! I tried to relax as much as I could. The peeing sensation lasted quite a while! I read Can u give me ANY feedback on this plz- much appreciated Kelly. Also Idk if I actually squirted before…. Was this possibly squirting?!
But just had to push? Or did I pee?! Some women gush instead of actually squirting. Thank you so much!!!! Great Advice!!!! How in the world am I supposed to relax and orgasm!? Am I the only one whose body completely siezes up and spases out? Will it just happen like a regular orgasm or am I supposed to push it out? Others find that weed can help too. When you feel the pressure build inside you, push out…even if it feels slightly like peeing.
Im sure you have answered this but I seriously am terrified that I am going to pee instead of squirt. I have never squirted but my bf said that last night he felt it building and that I almost did…. OMG I would be so embarrassed….. I do go to the bathroom before and after but still……any suggestions….
Hi Heather. I know it really feels like you but trust me, you are not going to pee! This feeling is completely normal and I felt it for months before i learnt how to squirt. You need to relax and know that you are not going to pee. My boyfriend tried to make me squirt, it took months, but eventually he did it.
After the first time, it stopped feeling like I was going to pee. And I can just keep squirting, 10, 15 times in one session. If it happens, wonderful! Trying to get my wife to squirt and I understand what everyone is sying but can her cum be too thick to squirt? It seems like she would but it flows like lava rather then a guyser. The main reason is because your bladder is right beside your G Spot. Nothing happened as far as ejaculating but I had a helluva orgasm. I was dating this guy and he have made me squirt like twice.
I really would like to get that feeling again cause I had the best orgasm of my life. Please help!! My experience with squirting is when I am playing with my clitoris while having anal sex. I feel a tremendous pressure building inside me and then I orgasm and squirt out a lot of clear fluid, usually enough to leave a big wet puddle in the bed. I think that your readers should be aware that some of the squirting you see in some porn, IS actually urine.
Some years back, squirting was sort of an unknown, an urban legend type thing. I have been able to make several women squirt pretty consistently. First, have a few orgasms! Get your body all full of sex hormones. Squirting is intense. This is related to how the article above says to build up for 5 to 20 minutes.
Two things work best for me. First is woman on top, traditional cowgirl position. Her kneeling astride me. The difference is, I grab her hips and slide her back and forth against me, with my dick as far inside as it reaches.
The other way that works best is, use your hand. She lays on her back, you kneel beside her. Use your strong hand, insert your middle and ring fingers in her all the way, so that the heel of your Palm is on her clit and your hand cups her pussy. Your forefinger and pinky extend down alongside, out the way. Then you curl those 2 fingers inside her to rub against her G-spot, and rapidly and forcefully rub her clit and pump the fingers.
More just rubbing. Your hand is doing the job of a vibrator, not a dick. You can see this technique pretty frequently on videos from kink. Hello Sean, Just wondering…. A key to cumming is making sure that you are completely relaxed. A key to preventing excessive discomfort is making sure that he takes is slow at first and also using a good condom compatible lube if you need extra lubrication. Any advice on how to reach an orgasm. Please respond to email, thanks. Sure, try out some of these clitoral stimulation techniques and these tips on finding and stimulating your G Spot.
He may also learn a thing or 2 by having a read of these articles. When I met my husband, the first time we made love — he commanded I cover him in squirt hovering over his face…. Now to my question! Girls in porn, do they just drink mass amounts of water and actually pee to get that massive stream with so much force? He should first try to make you squirt using only his fingers and keeping them in there while you are squirting.
When I squirt while using my toy I have to stop and re-apply lube before I can keep going or my toy will get stuck in me. Will this happen if I squirt during sex? Here I am again! A few shots of patron, a hot date with my husband teasing me all night, and finally the hitachi on my clit and 4 fingers in my ass… I hit the wall across from my bed with the most insane squirt of my life! Hi I have been trying to squirt forever with no luck.
I read your article and used a gspot dildo and it finally happened! Thank you!!! I read all the information and thank you I really appreciate it! So I have regular, incredible sex with my boyfriend and we both want me to squirt. Please let me know and thank you again!
During sex I have no problem squirting but the fluid will only come out if he pulls his penis out for a few seconds. I always use the bathroom before sex or masturbation. When I feel the urge to pee I stop and run to the bathroom and I actually pee. How is this possible on an empty bladder? And how can I let go if I know I can pee during arousal? When me and my wife have sex i would like to make her squrit.
But it takes time and she gets impatient So i goahed and finish. But when im done i have the feeling that im cummin but nothing comes out could this be to the fact that from 14 to 18 i would jackoff 3 and 4 times a day and now that im 30 i have to do it at least once a day even if i know that me and my wife will have sex later that night. I need answers please help. My question is if I do enough kagel exercises or use ben-wa balls can get to the point were I can control when it happens?
Hi ST, from talking with students, squirting is one of those things that they have trouble controlling. This includes making it happen in the first place as well as preventing it. No odor to squirt. I did not know what it was the first time but determined it was not pee because of lack of smell.
I asked my doctor and she informed me it was a female ejaculation. I had never heard about squirting up until about a year ago I have read on it researched it and very much want to try it and succeedI have done the techniques that have been shown and said to do and have not accomplished it which is very frustrating and I find that I get very angry I have had a complete hysterectomy does that have anything to do with the fact that I have not been able to accomplish this any help would be great.
Hi Tina, yes, having a hysterectomy could have had an effect on your ability to squirt. Quick question, do you get wet when you are aroused? I have been experimenting more with playing with myself then I ever have.
I wish I would have started it when I was younger! Reading all this is helpful but still worried I am peeing. I get to the squirt point I think with a dildo and clit playing then use the vibrating dildo on my clit and there it goes. I think it has happened during sex too. I have never had it from g-spot. Puddle can be large had to change sheets.
Am I peeing??? Hi I am having problems squirting. You see everytime I get fingered the whole gushing and fluid is there as you can hear the noise but whenever I try and push it out nothing comes out yet Im having orgasms and hearing the whole gushing and fluid noises. Can anyone help me on what to do for it to actually come out. Jennifer, this sounds about right. Not everyone squirts like a fountain, many just gush like it sounds you do.
I have never been able to masterbate, touching myself gives me no pleasure what-so-all. The only orgasms, the only pleasure I feel is when my fiance does it. He wants me to squirt for him, and I want to.
I also understand that not everyone CAN do it… but do you have any more tips that might help us? And again, doing it myself gives me no pleasure at all. Any more help would be greatly appreciated! Like I say, if you want to squirt with your man, then you need to comfortably learn how to do it yourself. The key is communicating this to your man. As a guy once you have the tecnique down its actually very easy to do. The wife says you have to get over the fear of pee feeling, for her it helps to be really turned on.
As a bonus once it happens the wife said it seems to be easier to do. Is this normal? And do you have and tips for me to reach an orgasim using my fingers. If you find that you are experiencing a huge amount of pleasure followed by that feeling disappearing, then it sounds like you are reaching orgasm.
You can learn some great fingering tips in this guide. I am really grateful for this article. I had been trying for over a year and after I read this it happened for me that first night. My man was so excited and pleased with himself. This was really important to me so im super appreciative. Ive gotten close but I wasnt sure how to make it happen.
Relaxing was the biggest thing. That and I made sure I peed first so I wouldnt be afraid I would piss lol. Thanks Sean!!!!!!! I have always been able to have multiple orgasms while masterbating and during intercourse, but have never squirted.. However, your man will never know how to replicate the exact technique that you use. My wife and I have been together for about 8 years. Basically, after having sex for a bit, I rub the head of my penis up and down really fast on her clitoris.
That makes her squirt. And the longer I rub the longer she squirts. So, my fiance and I have been studying and talking about getting me to squirt all over him. Anyhoo, we really want to be successful with this. I have been trying through masturbating but I always stop. I want to be able to do it both ways too by myself and ultimately, with him. Any thoughts or suggestions? How do I tell him the this exchange will most likely be the boost I need to finally squirt?? You just need to tell him in a non-judgmental and non-confrontational way.
The more positive you can make the experience, the better. Hi sean, I read your other article on how to find your gspot and it was very, very helpful I found my gspot! I hit a few times the night before and I squirted. I finally did it, and me and my husband have you to thank,thank you oh so very much!
My masturbation techniques have also improved, so thank you so much!!! As time goes and I do it more will it take less time for me to squirt? Again thank you so much!!! Hi sean I just want to say thanks for the wonderful instructions I have found my gspot and finally was able to squirt! I appreciate and respect what you do and how you really help people to better their sex lives, you really are thee sex guru! Thank you again!! I have tried to make her squirt once or twice and I have some question.
Do I have to press against the facing area of the G spot all the time? Do I have to do any movement apart with the fingers? Or just block them and move my hand up and down? You can do multiple things BUT the key is doing what works most effectively to make her squirt, so talk to her and find out what she enjoys you doing the most. We reached the pee feeling, but I think I should move my hand faster and faster with more pressure, is that possible? If it feels good for your partner, then definitely faster can help achieve more intense squirting orgasms.
I have one final question. When I do the fast movements, do I have to touch her G-spot with my fingertips or with the top of my fingers?
PS: We definitely want her to squirt. Also, can you ejaculate without knowing.? And thank you in advance. I thought all men love to see a woman squirt. Anyway to get my husband on board with me. Different people have different preferences.
Perhaps when he understands how much it turns you on, he will be on board. The key is talking to him about it so he really, deeply understands why you enjoy it. How do I not get my pussy to tighten? Sounds like you are orgasming. If not, then try to consciously focus on staying relaxed and this will help you to squirt. How can I stop this habbits! I just tried and i think i just peed. It smells like pee as well, how do i know if it was the real thing or not?
It has worked every time, but you have to get her real horny first. We found out it will ahppen alot easier when she drank a glasses of water before sex. We use a massage wand combined with that arm shaker technique. But usually she squirts after that when having sex in downstroke position. The most important thing was already stated by the writer of this article, its the fuckin mood, make her a perfect day before, it never happens when she was stressed by some reasons work or other stuff like that.
The second time, just tonight, was with encouragement from my long distance girlfriend over skype. She was really turned on by the idea and had been trying for a while so I looked at this website and a few others last night. A large ribbed G-spot vibrator and pressure on the clit really worked for me. The only problem is I squirt so much liquid that the bed gets soaked through. At first I kind of thought it was pee but the colour and odour is totally clear.
How do you deal with it? It completely depends. I just squirted for the first time by myself and omg I soaked my bed, there was so much! Is that normal? I cannot wait to surprise my boyfriend! Thank you so much for your tips! Oh my goodness.
Thank you for the advice!!! Get her to drink a good amount of water about one hour before sex. Also, the more relaxed she feels, the better. Hi, Um I was just wondering about the whole not very many women can squirt from clitoral stimulation thing?
Is that weird? It actually comes from my vagina. So idk if this is normal or what. Hi, my names Emma and i ve been trying to make myself squirt forever. Does anyone have advise. Are there any techniques or exercises you would suggest? Any help at all will be greatly appreciated.
Hi Stacey, it may come down to kegel muscle strength. Try some of the kegel exercises here and let me know how you get on. Okay so during sex, sometimes I get this urge to wanna push.
Plz Help!! Thank You.. Hi Cathy, your man putting pressure on you to squirt will probably make it harder to actually squirt. Rather, they just gush fluid from their vagina. My advice is to first try it on your own before trying it with your man.
Read this this afternoon and squirted for the first time tonight with my boyfriend! And not only once but 3 times!
He absolutely loved it! Your website explained it all and helped me understand that everything was natural and fine. I can make myself orgasm by clitoral stimulation. The varied pressure and friction either feels like nothing at all, uncomfortable, or down right painful…. It can come down to the type of stimulation. The key here is research. While I have advice on using a vibrator here and tips for using a dildo here , the only way to find the right toy for you is to do some research based on your tastes and budget.
I have orgasms regularly by stimulating clitoris with my fingers, and sometimes using water force of shower. But i have never squirted. What should I do? Both have a very similar feeling. Can anyone help plz? Some women can squirt easily while others gush where only a small amount of fluid drips out.
Try not to let it bother you. I tried to squirt while i finger myself, but it seems to go away every. Can u help me to squirt a bit more. Teach mehow to squirt. She should try just letting go and seeing what happens. I have been trying for years in this order to empty my bladder and always masturbate but cannot find my G spot. This website has helped me so much! Thank you. Thank you so much!!! I feel like I need to pee and I feel my g spot swelling but it just never happens. How can I make this happen?
I would like to share with you that after reading this and doing what you said, I made myself squirt after 30 minutes. I now know the real deal and I owe it all to you!!
Thank you for writing this!! Also, after laying on my back and using the finger trick as stated above for about 30 minutes, I stood and leaned on my bed and continued with my middle and ring finger and it just came out of nowhere! I recently discovered this past uear that i can squirt. I met a man who was able to male me multiple time in a row. It was amazing. I have researched a lot of info. I have tried using my vibrator and my fingers and some reason i just cant.
I think my fingers are to short and my toy is to powerful. Im just not sure. Do you have any advice. I never knew about squirting till I got with my fiance now. I do it almost every time but I want to do it all the time.. I just wish I could figure out how to do it during for play so he could watch while I done it. Due to having short fat fingers and large outer labia, I cannot reach my g spot without pain.
Any tips? Thank you soooo much I cummed so hard and so much nearly the whole bed it wet- it felt amazing keep doing masterbation techniques — the bed is soaking I tried to dry my cum up with tissues but the cum absorbed the whole 4 tissues I love masterbating. My advice is to go with the flow. Have fun! Hi Sean! In my eyes he was gifted with a godly tongue. This information was really helpful for myself! In a previous relationship I was the dominant sexually.
It was really easy and sooooo arousing. For lack of better wording. These tips on dominating your man should help. As someone who can get themselves to cum pretty easily, relaxing is absolutely necessary. You have to be in the moment, super aroused and just let go.
I think the reason it happened was how aroused I was and how into him emotionally I was. We had that connection. It takes two people to make squirting happen. Your guy has to be turning you on and using the right angle and touch, but you have to be relaxed and focus on just letting it happen. The fact is that our genitalia behaves very similar to men, when we are aroused we cannot pee because the tissue becomes swollen and blocks the urinary tract to the bladder.
My issue is the technique of how to do it! Thanks for the informative article. It was clitoral stimulation too. Do you think I actually squirted? Hi, I use to squirt a lot for my boyfriend every time we have sex and he goes rough on me, but over the past months have not being able to squirt and we have been trying different things…what happened? M I okay? I miss squirting. The sex with my boyfriend is still amazing though but I want to squirt!
Please what can I do? I use to squirt a lot with my bf but over the past months have not being able to…. The sex with my bf is still amazing but I miss squirting! What can I do about it? There could be many different factors. Did you apply enough pressure to your G Spot area? Were you relaxed enough?
This is an awesome article! I recently squirted for the first time with my man. The last time I squirted it went clear across the bed. So next I feel like I wanna suddenly pee in the middle if sex I gonna squirt that water out cuz when I do go to the bathroom it is always clear and plentiful. My finance and I discovered my ability to squirt by happy accident…the first time I had been so worked up I finally asked I love to be watched????
Make sure you are thoroughly hydrated and relaxed as a starting point. A LOT of foreplay will also help. And if I press my palm against her pubic bone during the hook position can help the stimulation?? Also your man engage both the clit and the gspot. My husband does this by using is his thumb on my clit and pointer finger inside me.
As he going out he pulls his fingers together like a pinching motion and pushing them back apart as he goes back in. Its intense and I not into fingering other than that. We have been together 18 years and been friends longer than that and tried alot. If have a good partner you can be open with it helps. Thank you so much for this! My stomach was tightening up and honestly it felt like I was about to puke from the tightening and presure of the orgasm building.
And when I squirted I thought I had wet myself. He had to explain to me that it only meant he did his job and that he was proud he was the first one to give me that pleasure and my first squirting. Thank you for explaining this! Long answer: Being a virgin is whatever you define it as. But maybe you classify it as something else? I have a question? I am new to my body and when i was a teenager and in my 20s always thought it was gross to masterbate.
So is it normal to masterbate being a woman in her 30s now? The first dildo i had i hurt my self with and i have been used by a lot of men, i am wondering if it is okay to try to please my self? I can do it by rubbing my clit and also while having sex, once you do it you will love it! The way it turns your partner on will get you even hotter.
My problem is the opposite — how do I stop squirting?! I wish I was joking — but it puts me off having sex and I miss my old orgasms. Sounds very frustrating…Do you also squirt from clitoral orgasms? But hey. Who wants to change the sheets every time?! Thanks anyway! We have ben trying this a lot, and actually succeeded once — but my girlfriend almost always feels as if it gets too intense and wants to stop.
I have been giving other girls squirting orgasms earlier, so I think I got the technique right. Focusing too much on the outcome can ironically work against you. If you try to make yourself squirt for the first time, and when you do, is it normal for a dot of blood to come out. Especially if you accidentally cut yourself with your fingernail? And every other guide to this is pretty much the same except for a few that describe what the g spot is supposed to feel like a bit differently.
I know my gf Can squirt because she said she did once with the guy before me one time when he was fingering her. The last time i tried to at one point i could feel her clamping down on me and i did hear the squelch for a couple of seconds but no squirt. Is she possibly confusing this for her cervix?
One time i tried to go straight back and felt something that felt swollen and could just barely reach it with my fingertip. Could that be it? She does prop up on a pillow underneath her every time. Is that changing the angle enough where it would be straight back? I do always try to give her at least one clitoral orgasm before we even do anything whether that be by giving her head or playing with her clit with my fingers. Please help a brother out. I want to be able to do this for her by myself.
Different women squirt at different level. Wow I was so thrilled with this issue Sean. I never knew squirting was normal. Most men make women feel bad for squirting. When I first discovered it I was pregnant with my 3rd child and I thought it was not normal but the experience was amazing.
Thank for a well detailed guide. Sometimes he plays with my clit hard and rough.