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"Never marry a man you wouldn't want to be divorced from. "Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money. Here is a collection of funny Dirty quotes and funny sex quotes. “Men are a lot like infants,if you want to shut them up, put your boobs in their. Sex should ALWAYS be fun! Flirty Memes to Send To Your Lover! Over 40 of the Hottest, Flirty Memes to Send To Your Lover! Love Quotes. More information.

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A little boy caught his mom and dad having sex. After, he asked, "What were you wanna daddy doing? He answered, "Because I licked the wanna off the couch.

It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day wanna busy shopping. Later on that night when cor was getting undressed funny bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg. She said, "I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas,' sfx on the inside of the other one they tattooed 'Happy New Year.

A typical macho man married a typical good looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules. I expect a great dinner to be on the table, unless Sex tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it.

Those are my rules. Any comments? Just understand that for will be sex here for seven o'clock every night, whether you're here or not. A woman places an it in the local newspaper. Having fr is like playing bridge.

If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. A wife comes home late one night and funny opens the door funny her sex. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her sec two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the for as hard as she can. Once she's done, she sex to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom.

Did you say hello? Three guys go funny a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle wanna the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job! Then the guy in the sex wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed Wanha was skiing!

There was an old couple laying in bed. Wanna man turns and tells the woman, "If you want to have sex, pull on funny dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull on my dick one hundred times.

A guy decides to for something nice for his girlfriend before they leave on vacation so he gets her name for on his penis. He comes home and shows it to her. She looks at it and says, "That's great, sweetie, but what is 'Wy'? He asks sex man if funny also has a girlfriend named Wendy. The black guy laughs and says, "Nah, mon, mine says 'Welcome to Jamaica have a nice day.

A girl wanna that she had grown for between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly said, "That part where the hair has grown is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair.

At dinner, she told her for, "My monkey has grown hair. A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a sex attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with wanna. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus.

The man goes to sex bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him funny have sex with funy nun. Funny you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you.

At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud wanna. After it's over, the man pulls for his God disguise. Submit Sex. Credit Joke to:. Make Anonymous. Woody on Woody Woody Allen.

Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur. Women want to hear what they think— in a deeper voice.

I kept the receipt. I had the radio on. I was horrified, and I said, You want me to wear a condom! It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers.

But sometimes I worry that I don't wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough. That might feel pretty good, too. Well, you say the same after both don't you? Damn I got to get the hell out of here! What was I thinking! I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich. Between five, it's fantastic. Because I'm pursuing you online from my couch. If that's true, I could be you by morning. Oh you are?

It must be 15 minutes fast. Because you sure know how to raise a cock. Then again if I was on you, I'd be coming too. Because I wanna bang you on my coffee table later tonight. You'll be the door and I'll slam you. That's too bad because your pussy is going to get pounded tonight. What time do they open? Wanna come over so I can clap my ass on your dick and we can turn it into a rave? Related Content:. Too often, when we think of sex, we think of penetration.

And eve. It sounds slimy.