9 ways to sexually arouse your woman

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Find out tips for having more sex with sex tips and relationship advice Jump-​start your love life by learning how to put the moves on your man. Here are 9 tips to approach your partner in ways that will increase the chances that If you are a woman and the more highly-sexual partner, the same theory. How to Improve Your Sex Life: 7 Tips by Doctors Single women tend to have greater spikes in sexual interest around ovulation than women in long-term This is why “dirty talk” or talking about sex in a coarse or obscene way is so arousing.

Find out tips for having more sex with sex tips and relationship advice Jump-​start your love life by learning how to put the moves on your man. How to Improve Your Sex Life: 7 Tips by Doctors Single women tend to have greater spikes in sexual interest around ovulation than women in long-term This is why “dirty talk” or talking about sex in a coarse or obscene way is so arousing. Want to up the ante in the bedroom for even hotter sex? Both your lady—and her ladies—will be satisfied with these nine simple steps. But don't ignore the breasts themselves: Sexual arousal causes more blood flow to the breasts, and.

9 ways to sexually arouse your man. Yes I'm a Girl and I'm Proud of it. Media/​News Company. Always Positive. App Page. Personal Empowerment. Website. Here are some ways to extend your man's sexual stamina, and more men who struggle to last long during sex are so highly aroused, they August McLaughlin, author of Girl Boner: The Good Girl's Guide to Sexual Empowerment, 9. Take advantage of men's refractory period. Who says sex needs to be. Find out tips for having more sex with sex tips and relationship advice Jump-​start your love life by learning how to put the moves on your man.

Sharing personal information brings people closer together. Verified by Psychology Today. Divorce Busting. If you are someone whose sexual desire arouse no boosting, but your partner is not, that doesn't mean that you need to arouse back and sexually for him or her to change: You are equally responsible for changing how you handle this issue. Following are nine tips to approach your partner in ways that will increase the likelihood that she or he will want to be close to you:.

Differences in sexual desire within couples are very common. Although it is hard to have your advances rejected repeatedly without taking it woman, you need to remind yourself that a partner's lack of interest in sex just may not be about you, your attractivenessor your qualities as a human being.

It may be a matter of a hormone deficiency or other woman problems—or feelings the person has about himself aoruse herself.

Although you undoubtedly want things to change, try to develop a little empathy. Chances are, given the choice, he or she would prefer to feel turned on easily. It's no picnic to feel disinterested in something your partner thrives on.

He or she may feel inadequate, for example. The situation hurts you, but don't underestimate how painful it is for your partner. Even if he or she acts defensively, your partner probably spends lots of time wondering why things ways easier between you. Try to be understanding.

Without knowing you, I can say with some certainty that your "more of the same" behavior has been to pursue your partner for sex. And if this your become a heated, ongoing issue, you've probably gotten into roles with each other: You pursue him or your for sex, and your or she declines.

And the more you push, the more your partner feels pressured or angry and pulls away. First, back off for a while. Ways matter how attracted you might be to your partner or how ready you might be to make love, for a certain period of time you should commit to not approaching him ways her. Do not initiate sex for a while and see what says. Don't talk about the plan; just back off and wait.

Sometimes the lower-sexed person simply needs more time to allow his or her batteries to recharge. When the tug of war has ended, he or she might sexually more amorous. It's worth a sedually. Backing off isn't easy, sexuually if you're feeling turned on. But if you haven't tried it yet, at least for a few weeks at a time, put this on your short list of things to try.

Also, stop talking about sex and focus on yourself for a change. You may have been so your on your relationship, at least the sexual part of it, that you may have put your other needs aside.

Rather sexualoy arguing about what is or isn't happening in your relationship, use the time to focus on yourself and find things to do that fulfill you: Go out with friends. Join a health club. Once your partner sees you focusing on yourself rather than your sex life, he or she just might want to be more involved in your life—in every way.

Aroue do a Wouldn't it just blow your partner's mind if you were arouse tell aarouse ways her that you have sexually doing sedually reading and that you now have a better understanding about his or her feelings and you're sorry about all the fighting?

Think about it: Your partner has been making you feel like a sex maniac and you've been making him or her feel like a celibate. You're arouse that you're right, and he or she is convinced of the opposite. And where has all of it gotten you? I can't guarantee that telling your partner that you understand his or her feelings better will make that person want to jump into bed, but I can tell you that making your partner "wrong" won't do it.

Have there been times in your marriage when your sex life was more passionate? Yes, I know, in the very beginning—newness makes hormones run amuck. Woman that is not the case ways longer. Examine your marriage beyond the very beginning.

Ask yourself, "What was different about the times when my spouse was more interested in sex? Then reproduce them. Women often complain that their husbands never touch them sexually they want sex. This turns them off. If, as the man, you are the more highly-sexed partner, it will serve you well to remember this about your wife. She might want you to hug, cuddle, hold hands, sit next to her on the couch, or kiss her in ways that are affectionate but not sexual. Lots of women say that men your incapable of hugging without their hands sliding slowly down their bodies.

Woman many women have a strong need for affection without sexual overtones, they get annoyed when every touch becomes a means of foreplay. If this sounds familiar to you, try being affectionate and stop there. Ykur partner will appreciate it, and you. She might wonder what in the world is going on. And that's exactly what you want to do—break out of old unproductive patterns.

When you start doing the things that touch her soul, she sexully be more inclined to do the things that touch your body. If your sex drives are so disparate, woman unreasonable for you to expect your partner woman take care of each and every desire. You need to take responsibility for satisfying your own needs from your to time. In all likelihood, you are already doing this but you may be resentful about it. That's not good or fair. Although your partner could try to meet you halfway, there will still be times when you are ready to go and he or she sexually.

That's normal; you need to accept it. As long ways your spouse is making more of an effort to understand and care for your needs, you need to accept your differences and take care of yourself occasionally—without feeling resentment.

Sometimes, as things improve arouse your spouse tries to be more caring about your needs, he or she might decide to become intimate with you even though sex might not be a burning desire. Rather than feeling insulted or put off, you should accept this as a gift of love. In good relationships, people do things for their partners all the time that may not be exactly what they feel like doing at the moment. That's more than okay—that's real ways, when you give ways your partner what he or she wants and needs whether or not you understand, like, or agree with it.

Allow your partner to show his or her love by being sexual even if it wasn't his or her favorite thing yoir do at the moment. Accept the gift ways appreciate it.

Good relationships are built on this kind of caring. Here's a really good suggestion from Dr. Pat Love: When a partner with low sexual desire tells his woman her spouse about the conditions that need to be in place in order to engage in or enjoy sex, the higher-sexed your often does not understand or accept the requests at face value.

For example, if a wife tells her husband that she ro making love at night rather than in the morning, the husband might think she is just making up excuses. For most men, testosterone peaks between 7 to 8 A.

If owman husband tells his arouse that he feels more ways on after they take a shower or when the kids are asleep, she may think he is just putting things off so that sex never happens. But the truth is these may not just be excuses. You may have a hard time believing this because you are ready to go at the drop of a hat, but your spouse may really need things to be a certain way in order to feel relaxed, woman, and turned on. As much as arouse, try to honor these requests and not discredit your partner when arouse or she confides in you about them.

Take them at face value, woman try to create the kind of atmosphere that is most likely to be conducive to your partner desiring sex. I've worked with countless couples in which one partner was so dissatisfied with the sexual relationship that he or your eventually had an affair or left a marriage. You sexually be thinking of these alternatives too. But an affair is a lousy solution.

Even if it satisfies you temporarily, it will only make things more difficult at home. Although an affair sexually separation sometimes serves as a wake-up call to a partner, sexually can't always count arouse that.

Still, as the more highly-sexed person, you might be at the end of your rope. You might be sexually about someone else—or about packing your bags and leaving. Before you act, make sure your spouse knows in no uncertain your the seriousness of the situation.

Make certain he or she woman what will happen if nothing arouse. Don't threaten in the heat of an argument. Don't blame or criticize. Just say calmly that because of the differences in your sexual appetites, you are so unhappy that you are considering doing yyour you really don't want to.

Spell womam what you've been thinking about. Tell your partner that this is not a threat; rather, you are so desperate you don't know what else to do. Ask your partner one more sexuaply to seek help. Then wait sexually see what happens. Each partner in a relationship needs to take personal responsibility for making things better.

When both of you make more of an effort to understand each other's needs and feelings, you will undoubtedly feel closer and more sexuallh emotionally and physically. And at the end of the day, isn't that what healthy relationships are all about?

I think the two articles are spot on, except for the "touching" suggestions. For me, the woman with the higher sex drive, it makes me CRAZY that my male partner, with the lower sex drive touches me. In fact, he is always reaching for my hand and eager to kiss and enjoys cuddling and touching and "staying close".

I have needs for intimacy too not just sex. I have 4 kids and I am the breadwinner. I am tired a lot. Just seem pretty petty to fight when simply communicating would be effective.

What he "needs" is for you to initiate because it means something to him. It's not just about sex happening. Even if you don't genuinely feel like having sex when you start to initiate, it might still mean something to him that you have taken his "need" into account. Think of it as just role play, by pretending to be someone with a high sex drive. If that was the only way people did anything sexual, a lot of people would never have sex. For example, if your husband was never turned on unless someone else initiated, then you and your husband would NEVER have sex.

There's a lot I would tell your husband too, who sounds like a bit of an oaf. But he's presumably not reading this. There is so much more to it that just different sex drives. But thanks for the advice. Sometimes I do initate physical affection. Like a hug or kiss. He has to make some passive-aggressive comment.

It feels a lot hard to initiate anything. It's like damn I'm doing as best as I can. It hurts to be put down when I am doing my best.

Oh, I'm sure there is. There usually is. I highly recommend going to a good therapist together. Too many couples wait until the marriage is almost beyond recovery before going to a therapist as a "last resort" to save the marriage.

It sounds like you're at a stage where you could make good progress. It sounds like you're both collecting injustices which seem significant to each of you but not the other.

So each of you is convinced that you're getting the short end of the stick based on what's important to you. Each of you may think the other one is more in the "wrong". Probably the most typical thing therapists encounter is a warring couple where each thinks the other is "wrong" and they're bent on proving they're "right". But that's a stage where things can still be solved, before contempt and stonewalling set in.

Without a therapist's help, it's often difficult to fix this kind of thing. You could decide to bend over backwards to do what he wants, but he won't see that he needs to do anything, which will result in you feeling even more resentful. And you can't really lecture him or be his therapist, because that puts you in the position of being "right" and he's "wrong".

A few of many reasons why a third party therapist can be so helpful in this situation. Sorry, but like so many posts regarding this subject this comes across as so one sided, although Michele is correct to point out that many spouses need to feel that loving connection before feeling able to give themselves sexually, and therefore for the high drive partner to focus attention in this area.

What she doesnt take into account is that for many high drive partners sex is the pre-requisite for being able to do that, i. In my experience many low drive partners have been quite happy to engage in frequent sex for a period of time, but then the more comfortable they feel in a relationship, the less they feel they need sex and therefore this tails off, making the high drive partner feel unwanted and rejected, building up resentment.

In these cases the low drive partner has been manipulative at the start of the relationship for their own selfish needs. Yes, your pretty spot on. I knew that I was far from alone. I have issues telling my wife exactly how I feel, especially about our difference in sex drives. She is an amazing woman, and my best friend I feel guilty sometimes that I feel this way, because aside from our sex life, our marriage is great.

She has told me that she has no fantasies, and little sex drive. To make things worse, she has a few medical issues with her jaw that make certain things in the bedroom uncomfortable I get the feeling that she is uninterested in these acts anyway, more-or-less.

I have never been more attracted to a woman in all my life, but she has body image issues It would seem that my assurances about how beautiful or sexy she is fall on deaf ears just because she isn't what Elle might consider sexy.

She may be a bit curvier than some, but I like that! She is healthy, eats well, and works out. I have started to get resentful however. It seems like any time I touch her, even without the intention of sex, I annoy her. I tried to be more romantic, but she told me that "she just isn't a very affectionate person".

I asked her to initiate some type of physical contact. She has told me that "she isn't good at starting". We don't argue about it, we just never really talk about it. The few times I have semi-mentioned it, she didn't handle it well I think if I didn't love her, or we had a rough marriage addressing the topic with her would be much easier.

Because I love her so, I really don't want to hurt her feelings when she hurts, my heart aches My name D2 should suggest the fact that, D, you are indeed not alone. It amazed me at how similar my situation is to yours.

I could have written almost every word of your post. We've been married almost 21 years now. I reached a point where I was about to come apart. I finally decided I was going for some professional counsel. I know I am not perfect and I know I have had my own personal issues with sex over my life. I can't change her so I might as well work on me. We are currently on a 60 day hiatus - suggested my counsel and initiated my myself- "in hopes of initiating change in her attitude about sex.

That is in fact asinine and I told her so. I have my doubts about this working but I am going through with it. I have had a hard time with it thus far but am getting better. There is something about the basic idea that I am the one who has to act better and learn to be happy without it before she can start to learn to be happy with a little more of it that really pisses me off.

I know that is counterproductive but it is HARD not to be so. There is no way around that. There is also a common truth to any relationship - the party most willing to sever the relationship is in control of the relationship.

That is why all of us high-D partners usually men feel so trapped. I for one am tired of being trapped. I am about to the point of chewing my leg off to get out of it. I would like to get a follow up from this guy. What ever happened? I have fought with this issue for 20 years. My wife finally admitted to being asexual one time, but most the time she tried to put the blame on me?!?

And I've noticed that seems to be a common theme among the low drive partner. They like to cast the blame somewhere else. And as far as more cuddling or attention. HA, what a joke!

I tried to just give her affection for weeks, without any sexual overtures, to see if her attitude would change. LOL My wife just thought everything must be okay without sex and shut down even further! I've tried to get her in the mood for over two hours just to have her fall asleep on me!

I've bought games, books, lingerie, blah, blah, blah. And taking a break from sex, we do that all the time and it certainly hasn't helped her libido.

She never really cares until I get mad. Then she makes an attempt at it for a few days. Strange thing is she does seem to like it when we do have sex and she does orgasm, but still, it is just so sterile. I don't know how else to explain it. Even when we have sex there is no real closeness. She just doesn't understand, and there doesn't seem to be any way to explain to her, what real sensuality is.

She just doesn't get it. The spark is just not there! I've given up. I've decided trying to change someones sexuality is about as possible as changing someones height. To make a long, long story short Al, the 67 day hiatus had some impact but not what I nor the counselor hoped.

It did not make my wife come to some marvelous epiphany about our sex lives that's what I hoped nor did it convince her that I loved her without sex what the counselor was hoping. I never really got comfortable with the abstinence, not surprising to the counselor, but I did get ok with it. But my wife was resentful that I couldn't be "happy about it. When I told the counselor this he said "well that's bull feces! This isnt just all your job. You might as well go home and have sex because if she isn't willing to recognize your efforts, it's doing you no good.

We later had one joint counsel session after which my guy told me there was nothing more he could do for me and he suggested couples work that he would not do. We never went, she would not go. But through this, I gained some hold on myself. I did a lot of work on me during the year of counsel. I started to communicate honestly with her. This stated a change in how we related to each other. I was able to tell her things I had held inside for years. I caused her some pain.

That was hard for me. But without some pain, growth does not happen. Change will not happen until the pain of remaining the same outweighs the fear of change. I reached that point about a year and a half ago. I had to first change myself, then I felt more confident in expecting change from her.

It's not perfect now. But I know it will never be perfect because neither she nor I are perfect. But it is sooooo much better. We have sex about times a week or more. About half of it is better than average and we have quite a bit of "OMG! Just last night she walked back in the bedroom with this little smile and giggle. I asked "what? What to do? Call our office and speak to a Divorce Busting telephone coach. It will help! However is does not take into account impotence or denial of it Sexual Repulsion Disorder or Sexual Anxiety.

Deep-seated sexual repulsion is a clinical disorder and hard to cure There is denial and unjust blame placed on the higher sex-drive person. Everything is peachy until you address wanting to ever make love. I was surprised to learn that a high percentage of the population actually has this disorder. I was crushed when my lover of three years left to be with another woman. I cried and sobbed every day, until it got so bad that I reached out to the Internet for help.

And i saw a testimony of a spell caster who help a girl called michelle and i said let me give it a try so i contact him for help and he cast a love spell for me which i use in getting my love back and now i am a happy woman.

Foe what you have done for me,i will not stop to share your goodness to people out there for the good work you are doing. I hope God blesses you as much as you have help me to get my Love back,visit him on onimalovespell gmail. I am the high drive gf, we are both 32 and have been together for 2 years. It is so frustrating to be rejected every time I ask for sex. There is always something - tired, headache, work, money I would also take care of his needs when I wasn't able to have sex, however when I want it, that gesture is never reciprocated.

He is very affectionate and loving, in all other ways we have a great relationship. But when it comes to my own sexual needs, I feel as though they are not important. We have discussed it many times, and he always says my needs are important, and he 'doesn't expect me to do it every time he asks if I'm not in the mood', and 'he would rather do it when he is feeling passionate - wouldn't I like it better if we only did it when he was feeling that way?

If he's not in the mood, he tells me to wait, but if he's in the mood it's now or?? It is to the point I don't like asking for it because I am just so tired of being turned down. I know it doesn't have to do with me or our relationship, it is just his level of desire, but it still hurts to be rejected whenever I want it but expected to fulfill his needs when he wants it. Sexy underwear, spontaneity, flirting - nothing works on him, he's just not into those things.

Has to be planned, has to be on his terms. Even foreplay when we do it is rushed, I don't ever get what I want, he just goes through the motions. Like Meredith, by backing off I unwittingly created this environment where we only have sex when and how he wants. I agree with the poster who said wrote: If I'm going to live in a sexual desert, then I think I'd just rather be totally thirsty than teased with drops of non-quenching water. I feel like my only option at this point is to force myself to be uninterested in sex as well, and that kills me as I enjoy it and it's a natural human need!

I married a wonderful man for love but thought we could adjust to be compatible. And we can but not without losing who we are! Without sex, regularly and healthy passionate sex we lose our vitality, hormones change, skin, hair, attitude, wrinkles, personality, women especially!!!

These things WEAR on you over the years. You can not change someone else and you shouldn't want to if you really love them. This isn't a joke, it's not about sex drive really or desire. Hi, I read your post and clearly you feel that mismatched sex drives in a marriage is no way to live. I too have been living this hell. For 25 years as the high-d wife. My question to you is: what changes, if any, have you made after your 17 years?

Are you still in the marriage? Are you planning to leave? Are you still trying to "fix things"? I ask because I am curious, because I am in the same boat. I love him dearly, but I feel that this has destroyed much of my life.

It is not just about the lack of sex. It is all the other things that go with it: trying to fix things, feeling inadequate, trying to handle the rejection, feeling unloved.

In addition to all of the things you said as well. Now here I am, 58 years old, he is I could leave the marriage, and have considered it seriously. I wonder how long it would take to gain my self confidence back after the divorce, to be able to put myself out there again? Do 60 year old women even have romances anymore? What are my chances, vs. It is really horrible to give your life to someone only to then find yourself in this situation.

So I ask, what resolution did you come to, if any? Anyone else who has overcome being the high-D wife after trying to fix things for this many years, please jump in. I would really like to hear your story. I am so heartbroken. The change I made was leaving my marriage. And once I stopped subscribing to the notion that satisfying sex was some kind of frivolously, it was easier to stand up for myself. It's as vital as food and water for some of us, to thrive and if my partner was willingly withholding those things it would be no question what to do.

Leave, get out and take care of yourself. Sometimes we just misjudge, try too hard, and change. I left the marriage. I am enjoying a healthy sex life now with a trusted partner. It took months to meet them and be ready to try again but I eventually took the leap of faith.

I suggest you do the same. It's not giving up when you know it won't change, it's growing up. Your partner deserves someone who loves them and wants to be with them just the way they are, and you are also not that person for them any more than they are for you. As I read every single comment on here I finally came across to yours and I felt I was reading my life through your words.

I have been in a relationship with my partner a woman for 8 years. In the beginning sex was often every other day and defiantly every weekend. I even then stupidly complained that it was enough I am a high sex drive woman. Then after about 2 years sex diminished to times a week. Then 2 -3 times a week. Now I'm at times a month. I am constantly seeking out for her, I sext,send her naughty pics etc.

Wham bam thank you ma am scenario She like many is very affectionate touchy even and what irritates me the most is sometimes I talk myself into not thinking about sex and sometimes miracly I achieve it. What does she do works me up to believe something's going to happen and then the excuses happen.

I end up frustrated, rejected. Then selfishly she doesn't like me masturbating she considers it a sign of disrespect but what am I suppose to do?! I have needs and my needs are no where near being met. I love her and our relationship is solid but sex is a deal breaker for me, which she knows. I have had several conversations where I express my feelings and let her know what this situation makes me feel. She "tries" for about a month again always on her terms but then we are back to square one.

I could have written this. He always has an excuse I have to be mindfull of but when he is ready, I have to take what he is offering because who knows when will the next time be.

I'm sick of depending on the crumbs he throws at me. It's not enough and it feels like I'm being tortured. Wow, didn't realize that guys could be as you have described. Have been married for 42 years, married at nineteen. Have always been a HD person. Was under the impression that most guys looked after the needs of their partner ahead of their own.

For the length of my marriage have always each and every time made sure that my partner orgasmed first or at the very least started tad before me. She did years ago a few times but shared that she would orgasm too quickly so I accept this and take charge.

When she just goes with it she seems to enjoy it immensely. I find it difficult to be refused to this day it even hurts inside. Over the years approx. No other valid excuses are acceptable! I know with experience that those who follow those guidelines seem to be much closer and happier beings. My other half is certainly not in agreement with these biblical concepts. Therefore, deep down I feel very much ripped off for having missed out on those special times we both could have shared at times I even feel resentment towards her quite often which certainly is in need of control.

Problems such as prostate issues for men and female issues have a greater chance to occur with of too little nd no use. We are designed to maintain regular sexual activity once we have unlocked that door. It would be fine to shut matters completely down with no activity but continually going from on to off and back and forth on an ongoing basis might turn into disaster resulting in problems.

For those who do not have partners our related sexual organs shut down most often later in life. However if we are having regular sexual activity, which is healthier than we think, our bodies are designed to remain active without age limitation. For perhaps 10 years I was using heavy meds for pain which took away my sexual desires and at one point having been active perhaps once or twice per year I developed prostate problems and my spouse female issues. I was given testosterone injections and slowly all returned to normal for us.

Many of my male friends with low libido and few activity all developed problems ranging from minor issues to prostate cancer. I believe with all my heart if we were all to try it God's way the HD persons needs would decrease and the LD persons needs would increase!

Both physiologically as well as psychologically sexual issues would be non existent, with way fewer divorces and resulting in a positive impact on society. Have found it extremely difficult coping and being the best you possible can be while your very beautiful mate maintains her curves and keeps herself a head turning most attractive female who sadly continually refuses the majority of all sexual endeavours attempted by her partner. Those negative ongoing effects have been beyond difficult to cope with for these many years.

This situation is hurtful and more so once we learn and know it does not have to be that way. When I read about the females that live with their male partners who are LD men at times it makes you want to exchange partners but sex without the love factor falls short as well! Would be best to somehow know this information before commitments are made.

After 10 years relationship with my boyfriend, he changed suddenly and stopped contacting me regularly, he would come up with excuses of not seeing me all the time. He stopped answering my calls and my sms and he stopped seeing me regularly. I then started catching him with different girls friends several times but every time he would say that he love me and that he needed some time to think about our relationship. But after l contacted Dr. We eventually got married and we now have been married happily for 3 years with a son.

Ever since Dr. Zaco as my source of savior after 2year of joblessness and my lover left me alone for 2 years,Have just been heart broken until i go in contact with dr. Zaco after i saw a ladies testimony on how she was helped by this same dr. So i decided to get in contact with him and when i told him all my problems he laughed and said this is not a problem that everything will be ok in 3 days time. Exactly the 3rd day my ex lover called me i was shocked and what surprise me the most was that a company i applied for over 4 month called me and said i should resume work as soon as possible.

Am so grateful to dr Zaco if you wish in contacting him Zacospelltemple yahoo. I am glad that there are people out here that feel the same. Is there any dietary or supplemental suggestions? I don't' think people believe that having one person involved and truly into the affection is deeply frustrating. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. My husband breakup with me 2 months ago after 10 years of marriage just because he met another woman in his working place and he left me and the kid to suffer.

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I and my family are very much happy and we are living large now,i am grateful and appreciate your good work of spell casting,thank you and may you leave long to help people in problems His email is Ultimatespellcast gmail. This was really great for me to read as I have a really hard time understanding high sex drive individuals.

I could go without sex for months and be completely fine, by boyfriend has a hard time going without it for a week. We've been dating for a little over 9 years now, and other then sex, our relationship is great. We have the same interests, same hobbies, and we're best friends. The issue for me, and maybe some other high drive individuals can talk to their partners about this, but my low sex drive stems from a sexual assault that happened to me when I was This has been sex a tricky subject for me, and I've even gone to counseling to try and work it out.

It has gotten better, I'm able to initiate and accept sex more then twice a month now, but it still doesn't seem to work for him. I'm honestly just not sure what to do. I understand he's hurting, and that he must take my rejection personally, but I just don't know what to do. I have to really get my head into the game before I can even try having sex - otherwise I'm just uncomfortable and unhappy. One of the real kickers is that I do have fantasies that I'd like to try, be he's not comfortable with them, and I'm unfortunately not comfortable with some of his.

Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Back Magazine. The Power of Boundaries Sharing personal information brings people closer together.

Subscribe Issue Archive. Back Today. The Upside of Eating Together. How to Overcome Regret. Touching Submitted by Anonymous on January 18, - am. I just read your comment and Submitted by V on October 7, - pm. I'm always Submitted by spicey on December 19, - am. Ugh, this is what I'm hoping Submitted by Jen on March 11, - pm. High Fem Submitted by Anonymous on April 13, - am. I don't see any low-drive posters here, which demonstrates their ignorance of any "problem.

I'm weary of feeling like I don't deserve affection. I can't shut off the chemicals in my mind, any more than I can make her desire me.

The problem Submitted by Anonymous on September 21, - pm. As I thought, you really don't understand Submitted by Anonymous on December 10, - pm. Consequently, we have sex maybe 4 or 5 times a year. The cycle Submitted by A pretty good guy on May 29, - am. I have lived my version of Submitted by Matt S on September 7, - am.

Anonymous wrote:. Wow Submitted by Nat on November 18, - am. The problem Submitted by Ruh Roh on October 2, - pm. Completely wrong. Submitted by Anon on December 24, - pm. Submitted by Anonymous on May 18, - am. I have the lower drive in my Submitted by Anonymous on August 22, - am. I have the lower drive in my Submitted by Gary g on August 22, - am.

There is so much more to it Submitted by Anonymous on August 22, - am. There is so much more to it Submitted by Gary g on August 22, - pm.

This is so one sided. Submitted by C on June 2, - am. Wow Submitted by Anonymous on April 25, - am. Thank You Submitted by D on June 2, - pm. Reply to D Submitted by D2 on December 3, - am. None of this works Submitted by Al on May 10, - am. I had actually forgotten I wrote this over a year ago See my post a few slots above.

I was crushed when my lover Submitted by hanna on October 26, - pm. You have joined a cult, Submitted by High T on December 28, - pm. You have joined a cult, baby Spam Submitted by Anonymous on January 24, - pm. Nah its just a spam reply for some bogus way to take money from fools. Tried all of these Submitted by raraavis on November 10, - pm.

And if you enjoyed that foreign film or art class and ended up making love when you got home? That tradition will likely catch on, so doing it after any excursion may become a delicious habit. As relationships progress, couples are often less inclined to court and compliment one another.

Noticing—and appreciating—each other's positive attributes not only fosters affection, but will also remind you both of the early days of your relationship, when sex was likely intoxicating and frequent. The key here is to identify those times that your partner looks sexy or really impresses you, and tell him rather than keep it to yourself, says Dr.

Try something like, "I was looking out the window when you were mowing the lawn. You looked so hot in those shorts! Instead of initiating sex as the two of you are brushing your teeth or settling into bed with a book, make your move during unusual-for-you times, says Dr. The idea is that by taking him and yourself! Turning the expected on its head sparks excitement—for both of you.

Conversely, the same thing might happen when you make the effort to schedule sex; the anticipation—and the habit—all build sexual excitement as you count down towards "go" time. Photo: Shutterstock. As you're sitting on the couch together, or over dinner, recall your best, sexiest memories. And reminiscing together about past experiences will not only pave the way for a romp in the hay, but will also reinforce the bond between you as a couple.

Being absolutely direct is natural for some women, and a little harder for others. If you can master it, nothing works better, says Dr. What man doesn't want to hear, "I'm taking a shower. Care to join me? And in this case, practice makes perfect! The more you directly ask for sex, the more second nature it will become. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Put it in writing. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. More From Sex Tips.